?

Log in

 
 
29 September 2012 @ 10:28 pm
Faith Fanfic Part III  
Soooo... I'm splitting the last chapter into two, so this is turning into a four-parter (approximately).
EDIT: I don't know why LJ keeps on erasing the spaces after my paragraphs, so just ignore it and mentally insert spaces <333

Comments and the lot welcome~


She came out of the bath, jolting Choi Young out of his thoughts. She looked so very very pretty. And so very very angry. After the ceremony, everyone had been ushered to a dining room, where they were treated to a modest dinner. It seemed like the monastery had been well-equipped to do this sort of thing, and Choi Young had tried to distract his worried head with how important the monastery and its monks must be to get this sort of funding. After all, not all monasteries were allowed to conduct weddings. Mass weddings at that. Mass weddings for eloping couples. Mass wedding for eloping couples who were then treated like guests at an inn. And then still be able to get funding. 
At dinner, she had taken the biggest portions out of anyone, and chomped down on the food as if it had personally offended her very being to the core. Throughout, she hadn't spoken a word. Choi Young, meanwhile, had been making peace with all the gods that he knew of, and being the son of a scholar, he knew many. He liked covering all bases. After all, look where his frontal breakthrough strategy had gotten him. 
Next, they were shown to a room, and were told that there were seperate communal baths were there for men and women. As soon as the monk left, Eun Soo threw the bags she was carrying to the ground, and opening them with such force that he was afraid that the bags would break, she wrenched out her clothes and towels and stalked out of the room. She had still not spoken a word.
Choi Young? He was too busy reminding all the gods of every single good deed he had done, every elder he had been kind to, every chore he had done, every bad person he had killed- no wait, scratch that, he didn't know how well killing would fly with the gods- every time he had prayed, every time he had curbed himself from swearing to actually move from the spot he had stood rooted at ever since he had entered the room.
And now she was back, and her anger didn't seem to have abated in the least. 
Before she could say anything, he grabbed his clothes and ran towards the bath as fast as he could, praying that by the time he got back, she would be fast asleep. And then the following morning, she would have short term amnesia and forget everything that had just passed. Yes. That was perfect. He started recounting his good deeds towards the gods all over again. And when I was 3, I was given a pet turtle as a present, and I named it Lady Choi after my aunt because I love her so much and she is an elder...
But sometimes, no matter if you've saved a nation, the gods just don't like being on your side. They just like having their entertainment. Eons in heaven can do that to a person.
So when he came back, the first sight he was treated to was a glowering Eun Soo sitting on what she had apparently claimed as her side of the bed. If looks could kill, he would have been an extra concentrated ghost by now.
"You go to sleep, I will--"
"Shut up."
He shut up.
"Lie down."
He lay down.
"Close your eyes."
He closed his eyes.
"Sleep."
He shook, and started chanting every mantra he knew to deliver him to safety.
After about five minutes, he cracked an eyelid open to see that Eun Soo was lying next to him, a couple of feet apart, facing away. He slowly started to rise up.
"This is a monastery. No one will attack us. And besides, I'm too angry to sleep so I'll keep watch. So if you don't lie back down this minute, so help me God I will--" She stopped herself, and making a sound halfway between a scream of frustration and a growl of rage, she thumped her pillow.
He lay back down and closed his eyes.
Five minutes later, he cracked open an eyelid again. It was now or never.
"Eun Soo-ie~~" That name felt so good on his lips. Would he be able to survive long enough to savour it, though, was the more relevant thought in this situation.
Eun Soo froze. Was... this guy... trying to be cute? With her? Right Now?
"Hey, don't be that way. Please?"
"You don't want me to whut?" Eun Soo turned around, her eyes throwing sparks. Hell hath no fury and all that jazz. Oh god, what had he done.
"You don't want to what?!?" Her voice went up a notch higher.
"Idon'twantyoutobemadatme."
"You. Don't. Want. Me. To. Be. Mad. At. You?!?" Her voice had gone higher.
And then it dropped dangerously low and silky. "Do you want me to remind you what you did today, huh, Young-ie?" Had he not been in mortal terror, he would have totally appreciated her voice and the way she said his name. Totally.
And then suddenly, it was not low any longer. "YOU MADE ME MARRY YOU!! NOT ONLY DID YOU NOT ASK ME, AS IF I WAS SOME PIECE OF CHATTEL WHO HAD NO SENTIENT THOUGHT FOR MY OWN LIFE, BUT YOU DID NOT EVEN TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO DO!!! I DID NOT KNOW THAT I WAS MARRIED UNTIL AFTER I WAS MARRIED!!!!!!! AND YOU CLEARLY KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING, YOU-- YOU-- YOU BUMHOLE."
He had no clue what she had just called him, but it couldn't possibly be good. Gathering up all his courage, he gulped, and then mumbled "I didn't know. I knew it was a possibility, but I didn't know for certain. And it's better this way."
"Better this way? BETTER THIS WAY?!? IN WHAT WAY IS THIS BETTER, YOU TWERP?"
"You're not blood related to me and neither are you a pledged sibling so this is the only way we could travel without censure--"
"Without censure? What am I going to do if I go back to my time? What if I have to marry a man there? What am I going to say? That sorry, I have a husband a few centuries in the past? Or should I just marry him? Are both those choices not up for censure? You think they won't call me a crazy person? They'll likely think I was kidnapped and tortured and that somehow addled with my brains, and I'll be put in a psycho house."
"--and it's best for if something happens." he finished quietly and lamely. 
She sat up in indignant rage "Something happens? What somethi--oh." And then her shoulders shook, and her voice rose to a higher pitch with every syllable she uttered, as if her monologue was directed to reach the Jade Emperor himself, and she started talking fast. "But I wanted a proposal, and it didn't even have to very fancy, but at least some proposal, right? And a ring, even a simple ring, as long as I could say 'Ah, my husband gave this to me', I would have liked that. I know I'm not that young, and that all the guys dump me, but couldn't I get someone who at least took me out on a couple of dates? I mean, when have we been alone before this? When I tended to you from near death? Or when we discussed strategies? Or when we got attacked? Or when we were running for our lives? And I suppose that us running away right now may be romantic in a way if something had happened, but nothing happened, right. And now I'm suddenly married to you, and I didn't even have a proper wedding, I was married with 24 or so other people, and I wasn't even wearing a proper wedding dress. And none of my friends were there, and neither were my parents--" Her voice broke on the word parents, and she started sobbing in earnest.
Choi Young lay, stupified, a hundred thoughts running through his head. The first one was that he had always heard of the legendary creature that was able to shatter glass with it's voice, but he never thought that that legendary creature would be his... wife. The next were the stabs that pierced him while she was talking, even though a lot of it had gone over his head. He had never thought about her if she left, even though that was why they were running away in the first place. The two ideas never seemed to merge into one solid, tangible thought. Then he felt the stab when she mentioned her ring and her wedding and wedding clothes. And then the biggest stab was when she mentioned her parents.
Then the sobbing registered. 
He gingerly got up and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I did wrong, I should have asked you, I should have told you, even if there was only a small possibility. I thought I was doing what I thought was best for both of us, but I may have been wrong. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." Her sobbing quieted, and slowly, and when he finished, she disentangled herself from his arms, and quietly lay back down. 
He breathed a sigh of relief. At least she wasn't ready to kill him anymore. Now all he needed to do was get back into her good graces. Although that may be harder than it sounded. Or ought that be "even harder than it sounded"?
 
 
 
joonnijoonni on September 30th, 2012 09:28 am (UTC)
I thinking about creating a post linking to these faith fanfics on livejournal. Would you mind if I linked to yours?
rockharlequinrockharlequin on September 30th, 2012 03:24 pm (UTC)
Oh, I don't mind at all, please go ahead ^u^~
Una: Asia FAITH lookscottishlass on September 30th, 2012 09:29 am (UTC)
And when I was 3, I was given a pet turtle as a present, and I named it Lady Choi after my aunt because I love her so much and she is an elder...
OMG! This killed me .. I can so see him sitting there pouting trying to get back into the good graces of the Jade Emperor and all the other gods trying to find good deeds.

You really have to continue this, it's funny, it has the right sexual tension. One thing though that made me go a bit HUH? Is that when you write Choi Young's thoughts he is much too docile. So yeah he is afraid of Eun Soo (esp. for her) but he is also a warrior who could snap her neck like a twig, and he knows it (even though he would never do this). He would be gruffer I think, but that is only my own personal opinion :)
I love this!!
rockharlequinrockharlequin on September 30th, 2012 03:36 pm (UTC)
Thankies so much for your kind words. I understand what you're saying, and I'm not exactly trying to defend my writing, but here's what I was thinking: He canna snap her neck because that would be killing himself at the same time, and he's been gruff to her all the way, only I was just too lazy to go into much detail about it (I think I wrote like... 1 long line about their 2nd day of riding, and that was it) xP. Only, now, he's done something wrong.. and not small wrong like oops I ate your food, but big wrong, aka oops I married us without even your knowing. I mean, even if it Goryeo, land of the arranged marriages, the women still knew that they were going to get married, or were able to tell from the ceremonies, and Eun Soo could do neither. And on top of that, she's coming, not from, say the 18th century, where arranged marriages were a regular thing, but the 21st century, which has dating and proposals and the bride making a big deal and planning her own wedding and the size of her ring mattering... Although she got Choi Young in the bargain, so she oughtn't exactly be too traumatised... So yeah, he does seem a little OOC, but I want to keep him on his toes. Trying to be manly and failing Choi Young was always funniest to me xP
(Anonymous) on October 1st, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
LOVED IT~! :)
rockharlequinrockharlequin on October 1st, 2012 04:09 am (UTC)
Merci beaucoup cherie <3333 *squish*
(Anonymous) on October 1st, 2012 07:19 am (UTC)
Your story about CY and ES
Bonjour!!!

I saw that you responded in French and so I thought I would say "bonjour!" (I speak French as well :-)). I don't remember the screen name of the last person who wrote the comment, but I would like to respectfully disagree with that person. I really appreciate your explanation and it made a lot of sense to me.

Not only that, but I have always seen CY as this very accomplished warrior who is wrapped around ES's finger, simply because he loves her, very much and he loves having her around, even though he might not tell her that, at first. I see CY as this general who is strong around his men and the king, but allows himself to be vulnerable around ES, because she is the person with whom he can do that. She allows him to do that, she accepts him the way he is and she loves him and she shows him, time and again, which is why and how CY has allowed himself to be vulnerable around her (remember she said that she would protect him, in one of the episodes?). He feels like he is getting a 2nd leash on life after having lost everyone he loved. Part of me feels like he doesn't want to make the mistake of not letting ES know how much she means to him and eventually he will come to admit that to her.

I have always conceived CY of being strong on the outside but oh so soft, and tender, and gentle and loving and caring on the inside. That is a huge part of his appeal (at least to me:-)). So, I am writing all of this to say that I LOVE the way your are portraying CY because that is how I see him, from how I have seen him be portrayed in the drama. I could be wrong but that is how I see it.

Also, yes, CY can snap necks, but that is when he is on the battlefield not when he is with his loved ones. He would not think of snapping the neck of his aunt or the king or the queen or his girlfriend, when she was alive. I see CY as someone who has a lot of responsibilities and who carries them all, but he totally melts when it comes to ES and becomes a puddle of goo and a puppy when he is around her (in a good way). He just ADORES her, is that asking for too much? I hope not. Gruff CY around ES is not necessary in my humble opinion (and I know, it is just mine)...

Merci, for letting me share my thoughts. I do hope that you are getting and feeling better :-)...
(Anonymous) on October 1st, 2012 07:35 am (UTC)
Re: Your story about CY and ES
OK, my comment was in response to Scottishglass ( I think) and I just read her comment and I now see what she meant but I do like your response to her and it makes sense.
Personally, when they are in an intimate place like the bedroom, I do want CY to be scared of her and feel intimidated some because he is not used to being with women in that way, and so emotionally, that could also be overwhelming for him as well (just a thought).

Again, I just love the CY you write about. You are so witty and funny and you make him funny and quirky, I like that. Please, keep that up, thank you!!!!!
(Anonymous) on October 1st, 2012 05:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Your story about CY and ES
Hi, I wanted to apologize. I misspelled Scottishlass name. I wrote Scottishglass instead of Scottishlass and I just wanted to apologize about that.
rockharlequinrockharlequin on October 1st, 2012 07:14 pm (UTC)
Re: Your story about CY and ES
Hey, I'm sorry about replying so late, but err.. you know what they say: real life sucks. Ok, so maybe only I say that, whatever.

Don't worry over everything, over here we love some good discussions and polite disagreements, and a little bit of forgetfullness and typos are totally overlooked <3

Thankies so much for taking the time to write such a detailed post with such lovely compliments. In fact, you're making me want to go and type the rest of the fic right now, leaving this reply in the lurch (not happening though, made you wait long enough xP).

I really like how you actually wrote what I was trying to convey much much better than me. Gosh, I'm bad with words aren't I?

Not only that, but I have always seen CY as this very accomplished warrior who is wrapped around ES's finger, simply because he loves her, very much and he loves having her around, even though he might not tell her that, at first. I see CY as someone who has a lot of responsibilities and who carries them all, but he totally melts when it comes to ES and becomes a puddle of goo and a puppy when he is around her (in a good way). He just ADORES her...

This. Exactly. my whole fic in like two sentences. I'm so amazed that you understood my incoherence so well.

You've actually written some sentences that are in part four of the fic (not going to tell which so you'll just have to read, hee~)
(Anonymous) on October 2nd, 2012 04:37 pm (UTC)
Re: Your story about CY and ES
Good morning Rockharlequin, (my time, morning here in Northern CA) (this is part 1)

How are you doing? Better, I hope. Merci again for your lovely response :-)... I am so glad I responded because I had NO IDEA I read you so well and well, you know what they say: "Great minds think alike, right?"

I have soooo much I would like to say to you, in response but also along the lines of how I see CY as he has been portrayed in the drama. Based on your response, I thought my opinion might help you with the continuation of your fanfic (which I love, btw), so I will have to come back and share them a little later.

Thank you for writing and sharing your gift of writing with us. I really do like how witty and funny and quirky you make CY with his idiosyncrasies (him praying to all the gods and the turtle story were literally hilarious and endearing), please add more stuff like that.

I read a few fanfics about Faith over the weekend, and I liked yours best because it is not focused on sex, as I don't think that is what the drama is going for either. You seem to me to focus (among other things) on their growth and on how they are getting closer to one another, a lot of it without realizing it, at first. They are getting closer emotionally, mentally and psychologically and that will lead to a more satisfying sexual connection when (and if) they get to that. I DO appreciate that you had them married, so if anything happens, at least they were already married. It makes CY an honorable man and ES an honorable woman, which keeps in steps with the values of Goryeo times and with the values of some of us as well in the 21st century, and I personally loved that as well, so thank you for that. I don't think CY would have shared a bed with ES if they were not married. That just doesn't sound like him, to me.

I also like that you touched on CY both sides, his gruff side but also his sensitive, tender and vulnerable side, because he has both and they are equally important. ES is the one who helps him access his sensitive side, which he buried when everyone died, because it was just too painful to face. ES does it, every time she is her 21st century blunt, quirky, funny, honest with her feelings woman with CY. It takes him by surprise at first, because he is not used to that, but somehow, he comes to appreciate that about her and love that as well. Every time she hits him on the shoulder, flirts, makes fun of him, she pushes through his walls (like a small hammer) and so like little pecks that the beak of a bird might make over time, she makes holes in his emotional and psychological and mental armor and she gets to him, in a way that no woman has in the past (well, she is only the 2nd woman he has been with, and he was very young the 1st time around. He was 22 and I don't think they went very far). Through that hole (that gets bigger over time until there is no more wall), his emotions manage to seep through and rush out and he slowly is able to connect emotionally with himself and with others.

So, he is not very experienced with women. Remember how shy he was when the queen touched his forehead? And that dual aspect of him (strong and in charge and reliable and dependable with his men and the king and able to combat his enemies, not afraid of them) yet vulnerable in front of this tiny and short woman (OK, she is not that tiny, but you know what I mean...) could be explored I think, because they are an integral part of who he is, and he is stronger and better for being both. Men (because at the end of the day they are human beings as well), can be strong (should be, to an extent) but knowing when to be vulnerable and showing that you are afraid, worried etc... is a great quality to have and a big part of his relationship with ES is that she teaches him that by being in his life. He saves her and protects her and fights for her yet, him loving her, adoring her, showing her that she is the apple of his eyes are equally important, because as he does that, she then opens up more and trusts him more and then he then becomes more blessed with this woman's love and commitment to him. That's what makes great relationships, I think.

(Anonymous) on October 2nd, 2012 04:49 pm (UTC)
Re: Your story about CY and ES
Apparently, my message was too long (I am detailed, what can I say...) so this is part 2. It is the same message in two posts

I hope this helps some in writing your fanfic and giving you ideas. I am not trying to tell you how to write, I don't write (literally on a computer or on paper) fanfics, I do it in my head and I have a very imaginative mind (plus I am romantic and sentimental, and I am sure you could sense that). So, I would be more than happy to continue to share my thoughts with you, if that's OK.

I also LOVED that you actually let the story unfold and you slowly take us to more intimate moments in their relationship. You don't rush things, you tell the story and you spend time on their emotional and psychological and mental development and I love that, because that is what I want to read about. How do they get to where they are at, take me there, show me their journey. I think it is important to let us know not only how the woman feels, but how the man feels as well (because he feels things, just like she does).

Thank you, for focusing on the journey as much as you care about their destination. Have a wonderful day. And yeah, I agree with you : Life does suck, wish we could live in dramaland (those of us who love to watch dramas, and analyze every minute of it and read fanfics that talented writers like yourself write :-))

I said I would come back later to write. Obviously, I couldn't resist writing my thoughts :-). Enjoy my little journal entry :-) and have a wonderful day...

rockharlequinrockharlequin on October 5th, 2012 08:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Your story about CY and ES
Je me sens beaucoup mieux, merci. J'espere que vous etes bien trop ^u^ j'adore vos commentaires et reflexions, et je vous remercie beaucoup d'avoir pris le temps d'ecrire ces pensees detaillees et merveilleux ici. A partir de maintenant, je vais te nommer mon Chouchou, puisque c'est exactement ce que vous etes, un cher complets et totale. Le dernier morceau de fanfic est dediee e vous~

Thank you so so so so so so so much for your comments again. You have no idea how ecstatic I am to read them. They were the first things I read when I woke up, right off my cellphone, and it completely made my week. And Thank you sososos much for your compliments once again, I really don't feel worthy of them, but thank you nonetheless.

I completely understand what you mean, and this is only my second completed fanfic, since normally I'm satisfied with the scenarios playing out in my head. Your ideas and thoughts have been incredibly helpful in my writing this. Thank you so much again <333
(Anonymous) on October 3rd, 2012 09:24 pm (UTC)
Loved it...please continue!!!!!!
Thanks for writing this...i loved it!!!! Please do more...PLEASE!!!
rockharlequinrockharlequin on October 5th, 2012 09:09 pm (UTC)
Re: Loved it...please continue!!!!!!
Ahaha, Thank you so much, I wrote the last part to it now ^u^
(Anonymous) on October 5th, 2012 02:02 pm (UTC)
Wow. This is an entertaining read! so glad you left the link on joonn's!

-Sunshine
rockharlequinrockharlequin on October 5th, 2012 09:08 pm (UTC)
Thankies so much ^u^